I didn’t plan on writing today, but I thought I would take a break from this hectic, nerve wracking writing and reflect.
Lately, I’ve been going back and reading my blogs from my time in Spain. One or two a day during my breaks or when I just want to get away. It’s utterly amazing how many nuggets of wisdom I’m finding within them. Nuggets that relate directly to my life in this very moment.
For instance, I struggle with control. And two days ago, I randomly chose a blog that I had posted with a poem/list called “Letting Go.” Today, as I struggle to figure out this paper, struggle with my feelings of inadequacy and fear, the blog I read is The Quality of Desire, which talks about the very act of setting clear goals and paths the desire to succeed will manifest itself in a concentrated effort. Well, duh. Of course. I have not set out clear goal markers for this project and therefore it has been a struggle to maintain focus.
I always find it miraculous how very cyclical our universe can be. How today’s struggle is tomorrow’s glory and how yesterdays pain is today’s calm acceptance. I think the greatest thing I have witnessed in going back and reading those old blogs is that things are bad, and then they’re good. You win some and you lose some. But still, you learn the lesson to be learned and life goes on.
And so now I go on and get back to work.