This morning, the most incredible thing happened. I woke up to complete silence. And I mean complete. Even inside my head was silent and that NEVER happens. There was not a bird, not a bell, not a child, not a song (well, it didn’t take long for Killing Me Softly – the song I was working on last night – to infiltrate) but at the beginning, absolute silence. It was amazing.
I purposely did not set an alarm this morning, as I don’t plan to start writing officially until tomorrow, so I figured I could afford this one day of freedom. I laid in bed a good 20 – 30 minutes just listening to the silence, thinking about what I wanted to accomplish today (not what I had to do) and then I dragged myself out of bed to make a cup of coffee.
When I say I have arrived at a mountain paradise, I truly and sincerely mean that. The drive here was one of the most absolutely breathtaking things I have ever encountered. It’s hands down the most beautiful drive I’ve ever done. Seeing as I haven’t driven in a while, it was painful to not be able to look around like I wanted to. So I remembered a video I’d recently watched of Mishal Moore’s on Youtube (check her out, her music is awesome) where she took a video in the car. So I tried to capture as many videos of the drive as I could. Of course, I ended up getting more semis and Nissans than mountains and ocean views, but maybe they’ll jog my memory at least.
So far, the trip has gone super smooth and everyone has been really nice. I found my way to the airport easily, and ended up with about 2 hours to spare. I didn’t have to pay extra for my guitar. I did end up sitting next to a doofus and his buddy who thought his elbows were meant to go in my arm and his pointing finger was attached to the end of my nose, but other than that… I won’t mention the fact that about half the plane was empty and so the chumps could have easily moved. I won’t mention that.
But yeah, I didn’t get lost (I did have one slight road rage incident on a mountain road and at one point, I missed my turn going around a mentally impaired driver, but other than that, painless). I stopped at the beach too before I left Malaga. It wasn’t one of the most spectacular beaches on this coast, but my god to see all that water! It was plenty spectacular to me. And the old man who stopped me to ask where I was going with my guitar, too cute. Even with rotten teeth. You should have seen me on the plane as we came in. Beach and coast and sand, and water for days… I thought I had died. Absolutely beautiful. Me and Mr. Doofus next to me where bouncing up and down, him going “LA PLAYA, LA PLAYA!”
And let’s not forget the drive through the mountains. I haven’t driven since July, almost a year ago, and Spain has their weird rotunda like streets that can throw you for a loop (ha, literally) like nothing. So I was a little apprehensive. And other than driving through Flagstaff, which I’ve done only a couple of times, I’ve never driven in the mountains. I normally don’t like too. But I’m finding out many of the things I’ve said I don’t like over the years only still apply because I insist they do. So this time I didn’t think about my “fear of driving through the mountains” and not only was I a capable and self-assured driver, but I even managed to have a little fun, whipping around corners (safely of course. Put down your hate-mail pencils) and laughed out loud a couple of times, I was having so much fun.
I made it to the cottage on my own. I came here by my own willpower and desire to really focus on myself for a minute. And even though twice I’ve still checked for an Internet connection (habits are hard to kill), I feel focused and ready, and I really think I am going to knock out this novel revision/rewrite, and this nagging depression feeling I’ve been battling. Wish me luck, eh? Though maybe if I just have a little faith in myself, remember that I am the SUM of my parts, then, luck won’t be needed. No?
My motto from now on:
Let go of the past. Embrace who I was, make peace with where I’ve been, but live as who I am.